Hi, This is Tamara Johnson at www.GetOutoftheMud.com with your Weekly Quote and Assignment.

Only as you do know yourself can your brain serve you as a sharp and efficient tool. Know your own failings, passions, and prejudices so you can separate them from what you see.
- Bernard Baruch

Bernard Baruch has it right when he says that we must know ourselves in order to see the world clearly. The difficulty is that it is not always easy to know where our blind spots are unless we keep consistent contact with ourselves - it must be a continuous effort. To know ourselves, we must remember that we will have thought and feeling responses to every event we experience in our lives. Some of those events will cause us to experience feelings that are uncomfortable. It is during those moments of discomfort that we must remain courageous enough to allow ourselves to experience, explore and express our thoughts and feelings in a way that acquaints us more and more intimately with our own responses, feelings and beliefs. The better we know ourselves, the more easily we can respond to the world without out-of-proportion reactions. The more our responses remain in proportion with reality, the better we become at seeing the world clearly.

Your challenge for this week: Notice your personal reactions within your relationships. If something bothers you, try to spend some time understanding your own reactions. If you are typically prone to quick responses, slow down and take some extra time to evaluate your internal reaction to the situation before saying anything to the other person. If you are typically prone to withdrawing, explore that part of yourself that would rather not engage in the conflict. See if you can figure out where that comes from and take some action to deal with your concern directly rather than withdrawing.

Remember to tune in to my podcast at GetOutoftheMud.com two days from now, Wednesday, November 21 to hear my conversation with Crista Salvatore about the process of Knowing and Loving who we are as women! This is Tamara Johnson. Thanks for listening!

Self-love is not opposed to the love of other people. You cannot really love yourself and do yourself a favor without doing people a favor, and vise versa.
- Karl A. Menninger

Perhaps, when women hear the word “self-love,” we think the concept is the same as self-ish. I believe there is a significant difference between the two, however. The problem with the perception that there is no difference between self-love and self-ish is that it sets us up to give and give and give until we’ve depleted ourselves. Then, once we’re depleted, there is nothing left to give. Some of us keep giving even then! And what we give at that point fulfills no one!

If I love myself and show enough concern for my own well-being, I will remain committed enough to make sure that my own “cup” is always full. Then from a full cup, the quality of my giving enriches the lives of those to whom I give.

How can I call self-love or self-care self-ish if I do it in the service of giving more and giving better to the people I love?

This week's assignment is a preview of how the Weekly Quote and Assignments work. If you would like to recieve the Weekly Assignments associated with the Weekly Quote and Assignment feature of The Get Out of the Mud Show, simply enter your name and e-mail address below! (P.S. I HATE spam as much as you do and will NEVER spam you!)

On this Wednesday’s podcast, I’ll be talking about the recent Wildfires in Southern California and provide some education about how we respond to crisis and how to cope emotionally when things happen in our lives that are unexpected and overwhelming.

I look forward to seeing you Wednesday night! This is Tamara Johnson at www.GetOutoftheMud.com

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with your Weekly Quote and Assignment.

Friedrich von Schiller said: "Keep true to the dreams of thy youth."

During the month of December, I will be exploring the topic of childhood dreams, which is also the topic of the first chapter of my book: "Pull Yourself Out of the Mud: Know and Love Who You Are and Get MORE Out of Life!" Have you ever noticed that "growing up" seems to be synonymous with "get real"? Somewhere along the line as we grew up, we were encouraged to let go of our dreams in favor of a practical, safe journey into "responsible adulthood." But who says that responsible adults cannot also live their dreams?

Over the past few months, I have become acquainted with very successful people who live their dreams as part of their daily activities. For me, these people have challenged the idea that we must stay within the "practical" guidelines that physical survival requires. That is not to say that we must become incredibly successful in a financial sense in order to live our dreams successfully. For example, although you may not have the finances to tour Broadway and enjoy the shows, you can support your community theater. If you dreamed of travel, you needn't have the capability to afford exotic trips to far away places. You can explore sites local to where you live. Each little act we enjoy that aligns us with our dreams brings us closer to realizing the life we have always dreamed of.

For access to this week's assignment and every weekly quote and assignment that follows, simply fill in your name and e-mail address below. Then click "submit" and check your e-mail! (By the way, I hate spam as much as you do and will never send you unsolicited e-mail. You can unsubscribe any time you wish.)

Join me this Wednesday, December 5th at 6pm PST on The Get Out of the Mud Show when I will be discussing connecting with and healing your inner child.

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with your Weekly Quote and Assignment. Today's quote comes from Chin-Ning Chu. She said:

A successful life is one that is lived through understanding and pursuing one's own path, not chasing after the dreams of others.
- Chin-Ning Chu

Chin-Ning defines a successful life as one in which we understand and pursue our own path rather than being directed by others in which way we should go. This is a profound principle that is grounded in a necessary understanding of ourselves - it is the understanding that I have invited you to when I challenge you to pay attention to your feelings and to be compassionate toward the child within you.

Never underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit. We are all the same in this notion: The potential for greatness lives within each of us.
- Wilma Rudolph

Stop and think about that for a minute. Why would Wilma encourage us not to underestimate the power of dreams and the influence of the human spirit? My guess is that it is so easy for us to live without recognizing the power of our own dreams and the strength of our own spirits. One of the themes I explore very deeply in my book, Pull Yourself Out of the Mud, is that as we grow up, we are encouraged NOT to dream so that we can conquer the day-to-day realities necessary for survival with food and shelter. But that is backwards thinking!

What would happen if we had the courage to dream of our best life? If we didn't have the inclination to give up when an obstacle is thrown in the path of our fondest wishes? I believe that most of us are so quick to think "that's not something I can do" that we give up before we even try! Or, we learned the "practical lessons" of life so well that we never dare allow ourselves to break the rules and dream big!

For this week's assignment, please fill in your name and e-mail address and I will be happy to send you this assignment and every weekly assignment as it becomes available.

Remember to visit www.GetOutoftheMud.com on Wednesday when I provide a deeper exploration of the purpose of feelings.
Thanks for tuning in today! I wish you well.
Tamara Johnson

Goals are dreams with deadlines.
- Diana Scharf Hunt

I think Diana Scharf Hunt is really onto something. Very often, our goals are centered around day-to-day, practical "to do" lists. But have you ever stopped to think that your goals are actually mini-milestones toward your ultimate lifetime dreams? How would your goals change if you actually allowed yourself to dream wildly before you put your pencil to paper and wrote a single goal? And what if you actually were audacious enough to put a deadline on your dreams? Are you ready for amazing, wildly exciting things to happen in your life?

If you would like to take these possibilities to the next level, sign up for your FREE assignment associated with The Get Out of the Mud Show Weekly Quote. Simply fill in your name and e-mail address and I will send you your free assignment that you can use to take your growth to the next level!

Remember to join me this Wednesday to hear my conversation with Fredda Wasserman about Your Life As A Balancing Act. It is a conversation you won't want to miss!

I wasn't going to be one of those people who died wondering what if? I would keep putting my dreams to the test - even though it meant living with uncertainty and fear of failure. This is the shadowland of hope, and anyone with a dream must learn to live there.
- Alex Haley

Living with uncertainty and fear of failure in the shadowland of hope. Yes, that is what dreaming requires. The interesting reality is that the uncertainty may be real because in order to pursue a dream, we will never know how the path toward the dream will unwind. However, the fear of failure is only as real as we allow it to be. Most of the time, the fears we encounter while pursuing our dreams are old, worn-out relics from our personal history that evaporate when we explore them in depth. Unexplored, these same fears have the potential and capacity to cause us to walk away from our dreams without even trying. But there is another way to think of the fear of failure -- it is your personal invitation to grow. If your dream is your inspiration, your fear is the catalyst for personal growth. It is simply the developmental milestone you must pass in order to create what you envision.

I invite you to take the next step toward overcoming your fear of failure in order to live your dreams. Sign up for your FREE Assignment associated with today's quote. Don't worry, I will not share your information with anyone and the assignment is absolutely FREE -- my gift to you as you take courage to travel this journey of growth with me!

Remember to join me on Wednesday, January 2nd at 6pm PST as I explore the conflict between taking care of our own needs and the pressure we feel to be a "Good Girl." Until then, remember to dream big and be well!

All my love to you,
Tamara Johnson

For it is in giving that we receive.
-St. Francis of Assisi

I think that most of the time when we hear something like this, we think of giving tangible gifts or gifts of service. But as I sit here thinking about the concept it occurs to me that it also applies to the kind of giving we give when we make ourselves vulnerable in relationship. So as I think of it just now, St. Francis of Assisi made a profound statement that applies to all aspects of relationship. What I mean is that as we are traveling through life, we encounter so many opportunities to open our hearts to others. At each opportunity point, we have a choice.

When we choose to open ourselves to receive a potential friendship, we are giving trust.

When we choose to receive a gift someone offers us, we are giving someone else the blessings that come with service.

When we choose to open ourselves to giving gifts of service or material goods, we give assistance and love -- but in this giving we receive the blessings of peace, greater love, connection and personal satisfaction.

But I have a hunch that sometimes we don't give because we don't know how to receive. Or we believe that we don't have anything of worth to give. I want to challenge that idea with the assignment I've constructed around today's quote. So if you want to receive your assignment connected with how giving and receiving are simultaneous acts, please fill in your name and e-mail address below. There it is again, giving and receiving!

The giving and receiving aspect of relationship is exactly the reason I'm so excited about Humanity Unites Brilliance, that I'm going to tell you more about this Wednesday, January 9th. To hear more about how Humanity Unites Brilliance gives so we can receive then provides us the opportunity to give again, visit www.hubhub.org and listen in this Wednesday.

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with today's Quote and Assignment. Today's quote comes from Dr. Barbara de Angeles.

"Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away."
-Barbara de Angeles

When I think about Barbara's statement, my first thought is about what solitude and self-reflection provide us so that we can continue giving. The answer is balance. While I was attending school to become a therapist, my instructors emphasized that we focus on maintaining balance in our lives because of how much we were learning to give of ourselves. There is no group of people that this principle applies to better than to women. Solitude and self-reflection provide us the opportunity to make assessments about how full or empty our "cup of giving" is. Those moments to ourselves also provide an opportunity to make an assessment of what we need to give ourselves in order to keep giving to others. If we never have those moments to determine what we need in order to keep giving, it is like trying to drink or serve water from a cup that has holes in the bottom of it!

If you would like to receive your FREE assignment associated with today's quote, please fill in your name and e-mail address below. I'll keep your information confidential as I respect your privacy. Thanks for listening today!

Hello! I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with your weekly Quote and Assignment.

Today's quote comes from Stephen Covey, who said:

Most people struggle with life balance simply becausue they haven't paid the price to decide what is really important to them. -Stephen Covey

I have seen this concept true in several areas of people's lives. Have you decided what is important to you in your relationships? Have you decided what kind of personal qualities are most important in the person you date and will marry? Have you decided what the most important activities are for you to spend your time on? Most of us have to choose between activities that are good, better or best. But because life is busy and one hour follows the next until a day is finished, we just go from one task to the next to the next. Often times, we don't decide where we will spend our energy simply because we allow the demands we feel on our energy and time to dictate our actions. Weeks or months or years down the line, this lack of focus will result in missed opportunities, disappointments and misdirected energies.

If you would like the assignment associated with today's quote, simply fill in your name and e-mail address in the form below.

Tune in on Wednesday as I answer a listener's question about how to get over a guy and protect your heart from being hurt in the same way again.

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with today's Quote and Assignment from Deborah Tannen, who said:

Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. To survive in the world, we have to act in concert with others, but to survive as ourselves, rather than simply as cogs in a wheel, we have to act alone.

In my opinion, Deborah Tannen is "spot on" with her description of communication as a juggling act. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand how much we should disclose because we fear we could be "swallowed up." Sometimes, we have no idea how to share of ourselves deeply enough to establish intimacy, so we feel isolated and alone. My favorite way of thinking of intimacy is by breaking the word up and tweaking it a little bit. See if this resonates with you . . . . . when we seek intimacy, we are inviting another to "into-me-see." So, in order to develop intimacy, each person must have a well-developed sense of who they are and a strong enough mix of confidence and trust to be able to allow another to "see into" the soul. That's intimacy! And if you can accomplish that kind of intimacy, you also have the strength to let go and enjoy your independence.

To get the assignment associated with this quote, simply fill your name and e-mail address in the form below. I take your privacy very seriously and will never share your information with anyone.

By the way, if you watched my last video, you know that I've been going through an intense growth process. I've decided to make my personal growth process public -- I've literally got my guts spread around the world right now! So, go to my new blog at http://www.TamaraJohnsonsDiary.com to see for yourself that I walk the walk!

Thank you for listening. It's an absolute pleasure to be on this jouurney with you. I'm Tamara Johnson and this is The Get Out of the Mud Show.

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with this week's Quote and Assignment.

The quote comes from James Allen, who said: "Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit."

What exactly does that mean? I think it goes deeper than the familiar saying "As a Man Thinketh, So is He." In fact, it is our thoughts that have the biggest influence upon how we feel. For example, if you have taken the time to pay attention to your feelings, as I have suggested in previous episodes and assignments from this Show, you may have discovered that you try to avoid your feeling self because what you found when you began trying to experience your feelings was not pleasant, but rather uncomfortable. I have to tell you, though, that recognizing that you don't feel good is the first step toward feeling better. That is because if you aren't feeling well, those feelings are usually connected to thoughts and beliefs you hold. Change your thinking and you will be able to change how you feel. Does that mean that you will always be able to avoid feeling uncomfortable or say? No, because life brings us experiences to which the normal response is difficult feelings. However, you have a lot of power toward moderating your feelings and feeling good more often than feeling bad if you begin monitoring and correcting your thought patterns.

If you would like the Assignment connected with this week's quote, simply fill in your name and e-mail address below and I will be happy to send it to you! As always, I respect your privacy and will not share your information with anyone.

Be sure to explore my website at www.GetOutoftheMud.com for tips and useful information for making your great life even beter! Also, watch for upcoming e-mails about a contest that will allow you the chance to win an Autographed Advance Copy of Pull Yourself Out of the Mud: Know and Love Who You Are and Get MORE Out of Life!

I also want to remind you to watch for my interview with Rachel Lazarus Soto later this week. Since this month's theme is Overcoming Negative Thinking Patterns, I thought it would be great to include my conversation with Rachel about overcoming the negatives we experience as women through Belly Dance!

Thanks for listening today and I look forward to connecting with you next time! I'm Tamara Johnson and this is The Get Out of the Mud Show.

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with this week's Quote and Assignment.

Today's quote comes from Mainbocher, who said:
"To be well turned out, a woman should turn her thoughts in."

I love this quote because it so elegantly describes the process of growth and personal responsibility for our feelings and actions that each of us has. Inevitably, each of us will be confronted daily with situations, both expected and unexpected that invoke emotional responses. Many people believe that when that happens, it is the situation that causes the emotions and the behavior that occurs after the initial emotional response. The truth is that it is possible to become very good at managing your actions when you become good at monitoring your feelings and completing appropriate self-care action based upon the feedback your feeling system is providing to you. In order to do that, you must look inward and use a thoughtful, analytical process to help you understand your best course of action.

If you would like the assignment associated with today's quote, simply fill in your e-mail address in the form below. I take your privacy very seriously and will not share your information with anyone.

Be sure to tell your friends about The Get Out of the Mud Show, so they can help you win your Advance Author's Autographed copy of Pull Yourself Out of the Mud: Know and Love Who You Are and Get MORE Out of Life!

Until next time, I'm Tamara Johnson. Thanks for listening!