I haven't added an entry to my diary lately because I've been in a lot of transition and reflection. I am not even quite sure where to begin this entry because I've been having so many thoughts about so many things. Perhaps, it is best to begin chronologically. That goes way back. Way, way back. I almost want to begin in January 2004, when I married my beloved, Michael. But it actually goes back so much further than that . . . . to my first marriage.
During my marriage to my first husband, I began and completed my education. It was during the education that I began to catch a tiny glimpse of what my future could hold. As a Marriage and Family Therapist, I looked forward to helping people change their lives for the better. But first, I had to change my own life for the better. Along about the time my training ended and I finished the licensing process, it became very clear that my first husband was unwilling to do the required emotional work that would allow us to maintain a marriage that was alive. When I left that marriage, I left almost fourteen years of being belittled by him (and in some measure by myself because I had to have agreed with him to stay, right?) and really began the work of re-building my self-esteem. In fact, the therapist I had already been working with for a year had this to say during my first session after leaving the marital home and moving back in with my parents: "Good. Now we can get the real work done." "What do you mean?" I asked. "Well, he replied, "Everything we have been doing up to this point has been to get you out of that marriage that was killing you. Now, we can start working on helping you heal." I had not even imagined that I hadn't even started working on myself until he spoke it! His comment really gave me pause.

Recently, I was toying with the idea of inviting people who watch YouTube videos to send me their video questions. I thought it would make a very fun project where I would answer those questions on video and just have a bit of fun with it. So, to begin I grabbed my video camera and headed to the Fox Coffee shop to recruit unsuspecting loungers into asking me a question on camera. I successfully cajoled one young person, who asked: "Why do I procrastinate so much?" Then, I arm wrestled a friend and won, so she consented to asking her question: "Why do I have so much trouble being motivated to do what I know I need to do to move forward in my life?" Hmmmm. I've been thinking about those two questions and the more I think about them, the more similar they seem to me. Both questions seem to imply that there is something each person wants to do but for one reason or another, does not do.

Crystle won an autographed, advance copy of Pull Yourself Out of the Mud: Know and Love Who You Are and Get MORE Out of Life! by sharing The Get Out of the Mud Show with her friends and family. Thank you, Crystle and Congratulations!

Here's what she has to say . . . .

Hello my names is Crystle, I am married and a mother of two and learning how to get in touch with myself through The Get Out of the Mud Show. I was so excited to find out that I was the lucky winner of Tamara's new book. So far, I have found it very interesting and it has helped me to realize things that I didn't know before. I am also sharing the book with my 12 year old daughter so that she can grow to be a strong confident woman in her own right. Thanks Tamara. I look forward to your other helpful tools to help me improve the quality of my life.
Sincerly
Crystle C.
P.S. Tamara, I do want you to know that the book is great! Even got my husband reading it. Thank you so much for everything.