Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with today's Quote and Assignment from Deborah Tannen, who said:

Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence. To survive in the world, we have to act in concert with others, but to survive as ourselves, rather than simply as cogs in a wheel, we have to act alone.

In my opinion, Deborah Tannen is "spot on" with her description of communication as a juggling act. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand how much we should disclose because we fear we could be "swallowed up." Sometimes, we have no idea how to share of ourselves deeply enough to establish intimacy, so we feel isolated and alone. My favorite way of thinking of intimacy is by breaking the word up and tweaking it a little bit. See if this resonates with you . . . . . when we seek intimacy, we are inviting another to "into-me-see." So, in order to develop intimacy, each person must have a well-developed sense of who they are and a strong enough mix of confidence and trust to be able to allow another to "see into" the soul. That's intimacy! And if you can accomplish that kind of intimacy, you also have the strength to let go and enjoy your independence.

To get the assignment associated with this quote, simply fill your name and e-mail address in the form below. I take your privacy very seriously and will never share your information with anyone.

By the way, if you watched my last video, you know that I've been going through an intense growth process. I've decided to make my personal growth process public -- I've literally got my guts spread around the world right now! So, go to my new blog at http://www.TamaraJohnsonsDiary.com to see for yourself that I walk the walk!

Thank you for listening. It's an absolute pleasure to be on this jouurney with you. I'm Tamara Johnson and this is The Get Out of the Mud Show.

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show. Thank you for joining me.

Today, I want to talk to you about Finding the Right Therapist because I'm amazed at how often people tell me horror stories about a previous therapist who either caused them personal harm or did nothing active during the treatment process.

Perhaps because it takes an awful lot of courage to muster up the strength to actually walk into a therapist's office, many people walk in and just accept whatever the therapist has to say. What I want you to remember is that your first appointment is just like a job interview where YOU are doing the hiring. If the therapist does not meet your expectations, you are under no obligation to make a return appointment! Further, if you are not happy with the course of your treatment and the direction you are going in therapy, YOU are STILL the BOSS! Talk to your therapist about your concerns. If your therapist is unwilling to address the issues you bring up, that therapist is not providing a very good model of communication in relationships -- and that's their job.

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with this week's Quote and Assignment.

The quote comes from James Allen, who said: "Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit."

What exactly does that mean? I think it goes deeper than the familiar saying "As a Man Thinketh, So is He." In fact, it is our thoughts that have the biggest influence upon how we feel. For example, if you have taken the time to pay attention to your feelings, as I have suggested in previous episodes and assignments from this Show, you may have discovered that you try to avoid your feeling self because what you found when you began trying to experience your feelings was not pleasant, but rather uncomfortable. I have to tell you, though, that recognizing that you don't feel good is the first step toward feeling better. That is because if you aren't feeling well, those feelings are usually connected to thoughts and beliefs you hold. Change your thinking and you will be able to change how you feel. Does that mean that you will always be able to avoid feeling uncomfortable or say? No, because life brings us experiences to which the normal response is difficult feelings. However, you have a lot of power toward moderating your feelings and feeling good more often than feeling bad if you begin monitoring and correcting your thought patterns.

If you would like the Assignment connected with this week's quote, simply fill in your name and e-mail address below and I will be happy to send it to you! As always, I respect your privacy and will not share your information with anyone.

Be sure to explore my website at www.GetOutoftheMud.com for tips and useful information for making your great life even beter! Also, watch for upcoming e-mails about a contest that will allow you the chance to win an Autographed Advance Copy of Pull Yourself Out of the Mud: Know and Love Who You Are and Get MORE Out of Life!

I also want to remind you to watch for my interview with Rachel Lazarus Soto later this week. Since this month's theme is Overcoming Negative Thinking Patterns, I thought it would be great to include my conversation with Rachel about overcoming the negatives we experience as women through Belly Dance!

Thanks for listening today and I look forward to connecting with you next time! I'm Tamara Johnson and this is The Get Out of the Mud Show.

Rachel Lazarus Soto has studied belly dance for more than fifteen years, and has performed and taught seminars internationally over the last twelve years. She is the director of acclaimed Blue Damsel Dance Company. Her concise teaching style shows clarity of thought and knowledge of movement and the body, allowing students to learn dance class and workshop material easily. As a lifetime student of behavior models of women, Rachel is highly intuitive, and has a developed understanding of women's motivations for dance. As a performer and coach, and loves glamour and glitz, and thinks every woman can feel fabulous in her skin.

Rachel holds a General Skills Certification of Fat Chance Belly Dance Technique with Carolena Nericcio (January 2007). Over the last two years Rachel has begun studying Asian dance forms including classical and folk Indian styles with Meera, Shawna Rai, and most recently DaVid of
Scandinavia, as well as Far East Asian movement concepts with Shifu Newton of Tai Mantis Kung Fu, and Classical Japanese dance with Mihoko Powers. These recent influences can be readily seen in Rachel’s performances and choreographies.

”I loved you on-stage at Tribal Con (2006). Unadulterated Mojo in motion!” -- Onca, Baraka Mundi

To learn more about Rachel, visit her websites: http://www.BlueDamsel.org and http://www.DanceOasisStudio.net

To get the entire 33 minute interview, simply fill in your name and e-mail address in the form below. (I take your privacy seriously and will never share your information with anyone.)

Watch this video to find out how YOU can WIN your autographed, advance copy of Pull Yourself Out of the Mud: Know and Love Who You Are and Get MORE Out of Life!

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with this week's Quote and Assignment.

Today's quote comes from Mainbocher, who said:
"To be well turned out, a woman should turn her thoughts in."

I love this quote because it so elegantly describes the process of growth and personal responsibility for our feelings and actions that each of us has. Inevitably, each of us will be confronted daily with situations, both expected and unexpected that invoke emotional responses. Many people believe that when that happens, it is the situation that causes the emotions and the behavior that occurs after the initial emotional response. The truth is that it is possible to become very good at managing your actions when you become good at monitoring your feelings and completing appropriate self-care action based upon the feedback your feeling system is providing to you. In order to do that, you must look inward and use a thoughtful, analytical process to help you understand your best course of action.

If you would like the assignment associated with today's quote, simply fill in your e-mail address in the form below. I take your privacy very seriously and will not share your information with anyone.

Be sure to tell your friends about The Get Out of the Mud Show, so they can help you win your Advance Author's Autographed copy of Pull Yourself Out of the Mud: Know and Love Who You Are and Get MORE Out of Life!

Until next time, I'm Tamara Johnson. Thanks for listening!

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show. Thank you for joining me today. As a regular feature of my show, I answer a question that comes from one of my listeners and today, I am going to respond to a question from a woman who asked me about sexual assault. She wants to know how she can overcome the guilt she feels. She also tells me that she has tried to ignore her memories of the rape, but she just cannot forget what happened.
Let me begin by stating that although you feel isolated, you are not alone. One in six American women are victims of sexual assault according to the National Sexual Assault Hotline. Let me also say that you can get free, confidential assistance by calling the hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE.
This is such a sensitive issue and I will do my best to help you understand why being raped is such a powerfully negative experience -- even years after it occurred. And, I will do my best to help you understand how to cope and heal. I also want you to understand that it is very difficult to heal from this kind of trauma on your own. I would recommend that you find a caring, responsive counselor who can help you walk through the difficult process of healing after rape. Trying to ignore the problem will only insure that you will be struggling with the same feelings, symptoms and problems for years to come.

My love offering to women who have been raped. My prayer is that you can reach a similar place in your healing journey.
Much Love,
Tamara

Survivor Psalm

I have been victimized.
I was in a fight that was not a fair fight.
I did not ask for the fight.
I lost.

There is no shame in losing such fights, only in winning.
I have reached the stage of survivor and no longer a slave of victim status.
I look back with sadness rather than hate.
I look forward with hope rather than despair.
I may never forget, but I need not constantly remember.
I was a victim.
I am a survivor.