Ok. So January is the time for new beginnings. And . . . . I've got a story to tell!
I started working out in August of 2007 with my personal trainer. And, as you read in my last post here, I was really loving the body I've been building! So by Thanksgiving time, I decided that I'd been working hard enough to be able to just indulge in the cornucopia of food that would be before me for the next month with reckless abandon. Thought it wouldn't hurt and that I've been working hard enough it shouldn't show up on my increasingly fit bod! Besides, once a year indulging isn't awful!
The feasting didn't really begin until a few weeks before Christmas.
My landlord for the office brought me a beautiful box of delicious Belgian Chocolates -- and I decided not to share them with ANYBODY! My dear husband made his fudge that actually converted me from a fudge hater to sneaking a bite here-and-there throughout the day. (I've told him he isn't allowed to make that fudge more than once a year!)
I also had some amazing opportunities come my way that stretched me by encouraging me to walk into the darkness of the unknown with Humanity Unites Brilliance. Yes, I had some voices telling me that I'm not good enough to join a brilliant group of people that feel like family to me. Had to wrestle those voices to the ground! Yes, had a few extra treats to fortify me during that struggle.
Then, people brought some really great Christmas treats-junk . . . . and since I was indulging, I indulged!
Funny thing, because I had been taking some days away from the office around Christmas I never really slipped into my jeans. When I did a few days after Christmas . . . . Helloooooo, Muffin Top! Whoops!
Yep! I've gained some. But you know what? I'm having an experience that is at-once strange and wonderful. Although my pants are uncomfortably tight, I know what to do to change the situation. And for the first time in my life I'm looking in the mirror and the beauty I see is not affected by some number on a scale. (Which, by the way, I have no use for since my self-esteem cannot be weighed and the number means nothing. It's not tattooed on my forehead, so why do I need it?) And you know what else? I've got some great boobs! Yeah! That's something I can enjoy until my jeans feel more comfortable again!
I've actually been eating better since Christmas is over and I'm amazed (again) that I'm not really worried about how fast the weight from those extra treats will disappear. I'm happy. I'm living my life -- the health issues will take care of themselves when I take the appropriate steps.
So for anyone who knows me well, I like to give myself Absolute Permission about things in my life that represent paradigm shifts.
I give myself Absolute Permission to love my body, no matter what, all the way through 2008.
I give myself Absolute Permission to see my own beauty, even if I am less than perfect.
I give myself Absolute Permission to make my self-esteem about who I am and what I do instead of what I look like.
I give myself Absolute Permission to eat right, exercise and get adequate rest and not worry about how or when that will cause changes in my weight.
I give myself Absolute Permission to love who I am so that I can radiate that love outward.
I give myself Absolute Permission to recognize my own growth and give me a pat on the back!
2008 is going to be great!
What do you give yourself Absolute Permission to do?
