Get Out Of the Mud

First off, why hasn’t he ever worked? That would be a good sign of someone that just doesn’t want any responsibility – and marriage is a big responsibility. I will also hazard a guess that this has been the source of some fights/contention in the marriage. It’s never easy when one person feels like they pull all the weight in the relationship.

Next off, you have to ask yourself whether you think that the marriage is worth saving. From your comments, though it seems to me that you’ve answered that one, and have decided no. And since he won’t agree to marriage counseling, it shows that he either, doesn’t recognize that there’s an issue, or doesn’t care enough to fix it.

Third, he is not your responsibility. It’s important for you to remind yourself that. He’s not your child. He’s a grown man, and he can fend for himself. If he can’t, it might be time he learned.

As a bit of a consolation to you, remember that, there are often plenty of opportunities for assistance for people getting on their feet. He will just have to actually do some work and look for them. I don’t know where you live, but here in the states, there are job training opportunities, financial assistance or people who qualify (and sometimes even people who SHOULDN’T qualify, but that’s another thing all together).

It sounds as though there are issues in the marriage that may not be repairable because he has no desire to work with you to fix them.

I wish you the best of luck and that you find happier days in the near future.