Happy New Year! I found this video on YouTube and I think it is so powerful that I want to share it with you!
All my Love and Best to you for 2008!
Tamara Johnson

Today, as promised, I'm going to explore the concept that while we were growing up, little girls were taught to "be nice" or "be good" and often times, we interpreted that to mean that we must always place our own needs in a secondary position to the needs of those with whom we are in relationship. In chapter two of my book: "Pull Yourself Out of the Mud: Know and Love Who You Are and Get More Out of Life" coming out in May of this year, I explore this concept in depth. Basically, the concept is this: as children we are taught what is right and wrong by our parents. Often times, but not always, the distinction between right and wrong depended upon the convenience, needs and personalities of our parents. One parent who has a
rambunctious personality and doesn't mind noise will allow her children to play loudly and enthusiastically without being bothered by her children's activity levels. Another parent may be anxious and out of that sense of anxiety requires her children to remain unusually quiet. Whatever form the training took that training began when we were very young. As small as two years old, every child begins to assert her independence and sense of self with the words "no"
and "Mine!" and "I do it!" But frequently, a two-year-old's requests for independence are met with course corrections that serve, over time, teach her that she needs to hear the external voice of direction more acutely than her own wishes.

Ok. So January is the time for new beginnings. And . . . . I've got a story to tell!

I started working out in August of 2007 with my personal trainer. And, as you read in my last post here, I was really loving the body I've been building! So by Thanksgiving time, I decided that I'd been working hard enough to be able to just indulge in the cornucopia of food that would be before me for the next month with reckless abandon. Thought it wouldn't hurt and that I've been working hard enough it shouldn't show up on my increasingly fit bod! Besides, once a year indulging isn't awful!

The feasting didn't really begin until a few weeks before Christmas.

For it is in giving that we receive.
-St. Francis of Assisi

I think that most of the time when we hear something like this, we think of giving tangible gifts or gifts of service. But as I sit here thinking about the concept it occurs to me that it also applies to the kind of giving we give when we make ourselves vulnerable in relationship. So as I think of it just now, St. Francis of Assisi made a profound statement that applies to all aspects of relationship. What I mean is that as we are traveling through life, we encounter so many opportunities to open our hearts to others. At each opportunity point, we have a choice.

When we choose to open ourselves to receive a potential friendship, we are giving trust.

When we choose to receive a gift someone offers us, we are giving someone else the blessings that come with service.

When we choose to open ourselves to giving gifts of service or material goods, we give assistance and love -- but in this giving we receive the blessings of peace, greater love, connection and personal satisfaction.

But I have a hunch that sometimes we don't give because we don't know how to receive. Or we believe that we don't have anything of worth to give. I want to challenge that idea with the assignment I've constructed around today's quote. So if you want to receive your assignment connected with how giving and receiving are simultaneous acts, please fill in your name and e-mail address below. There it is again, giving and receiving!

The giving and receiving aspect of relationship is exactly the reason I'm so excited about Humanity Unites Brilliance, that I'm going to tell you more about this Wednesday, January 9th. To hear more about how Humanity Unites Brilliance gives so we can receive then provides us the opportunity to give again, visit www.hubhub.org and listen in this Wednesday.

Hello, I am Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show. Thank you for joining me. Today I want to share something with you because I'm so excited about a movement that I've become involved in that I think is going to make a tremendous impact on our planet.

It was on the weekend of November 30th through December 2nd of 2007 that I was invited to attend a conference that has changed my life. It was my publisher, David Hancock at Morgan James Publishing, that invited me with a last-minute e-mail. He had told me to attend every event I could because as a first time author, the powers that exist want to see that I'm doing my part to rise above the obscurity of the masses of nameless, faceless authors who've also written books. The name of the organization is Humanity Unites Brilliance and the website is www.hubhub.org.

From the website, I couldn't quite figure out what the organization was about, but I had a feeling that it didn't really fit with shameless self-promotion by new authors. So, I registered for the event with an open mind and a prayer in my heart that I would discover the purpose for my attendance at the event. The journey to the conference was actually pretty tough. It was raining and a jackknifed truck on the 605 freeway stretched my travel time from what should have been just over an hour to 3 hours. So by the time I reached the conference, I was pretty grumpy and felt impatient about sitting through a sales presentation. I went in and sat down with my arms and legs crossed and a "prove it to me" attitude.

Hello, I'm Tamara Johnson, host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with today's Quote and Assignment. Today's quote comes from Dr. Barbara de Angeles.

"Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away."
-Barbara de Angeles

When I think about Barbara's statement, my first thought is about what solitude and self-reflection provide us so that we can continue giving. The answer is balance. While I was attending school to become a therapist, my instructors emphasized that we focus on maintaining balance in our lives because of how much we were learning to give of ourselves. There is no group of people that this principle applies to better than to women. Solitude and self-reflection provide us the opportunity to make assessments about how full or empty our "cup of giving" is. Those moments to ourselves also provide an opportunity to make an assessment of what we need to give ourselves in order to keep giving to others. If we never have those moments to determine what we need in order to keep giving, it is like trying to drink or serve water from a cup that has holes in the bottom of it!

If you would like to receive your FREE assignment associated with today's quote, please fill in your name and e-mail address below. I'll keep your information confidential as I respect your privacy. Thanks for listening today!

Then enter your name and e-mail address below to receive your FREE mp3 download of the entire 57 minute interview - and find out how to receive MORE FREE GIFTS Kelly is offering you!

When Kelly was a little girl, she and her younger sister, Shannon, would discuss their dreams every morning and compare notes about what they thought their nighttime adventures meant. They bought every dream dictionary they could find and poured through them to widen
their spectrum of understanding.

Hello! I'm Tamara Johnson, your host of The Get Out of the Mud Show with your weekly Quote and Assignment.

Today's quote comes from Stephen Covey, who said:

Most people struggle with life balance simply becausue they haven't paid the price to decide what is really important to them. -Stephen Covey

I have seen this concept true in several areas of people's lives. Have you decided what is important to you in your relationships? Have you decided what kind of personal qualities are most important in the person you date and will marry? Have you decided what the most important activities are for you to spend your time on? Most of us have to choose between activities that are good, better or best. But because life is busy and one hour follows the next until a day is finished, we just go from one task to the next to the next. Often times, we don't decide where we will spend our energy simply because we allow the demands we feel on our energy and time to dictate our actions. Weeks or months or years down the line, this lack of focus will result in missed opportunities, disappointments and misdirected energies.

If you would like the assignment associated with today's quote, simply fill in your name and e-mail address in the form below.

Tune in on Wednesday as I answer a listener's question about how to get over a guy and protect your heart from being hurt in the same way again.