Get Out Of the Mud

In the beginning of our marriage we were way tense and taking everything way too seriously. We’d scream and one of us would stomp out. Well, when it got bad, we went to a pastor who referred us to a marriage counselor. Both of them helped tremendously. They were unbiased and able to confront both of us in where we were wrong. Well, dealing with conflict starts with realizing that your spouse is not all wrong and that you also are wrong about some things. Two huge things to say are I’m sorry and I forgive you. If you don’t know how to say those 2 things and mean them – you’re clueless about dealing with conflict. Now, we laugh off alot of things that would have thrown us into a tailspin in the beginning. Both of us had to make some sacrifices to make it work and it’s totally worth it. Humor is really important – but I’m talking positive humor and not sarcasm. Yeah – never making personal negative or sarcastic statements about your spouse is a good place to start. Saying I love you frequently is a good thing and so is using kind nicknames that you each appreciate. Dealing with conflict is more about the little things that you do everyday than it is about what you do at the moment of an argument. When you show love and respect on a daily basis – then when you do argue – you are less likely to say and do things you’ll regret and more likely to be understanding about one another.